Dear drivers 

Why do we have crazy drivers on the road? I just love watching them. I used to be the horn-tooting Montrealer as well. I’ve retired. Just wanted to write a little note for those people I get the chance to encounter on the road.

Dear gray Tacoma driver,

Tailgating me because I’m driving at speed limit doesn’t make me go faster especially since the car in front of me is 1-2 car lengths in front of me and we are going downhill on the Port Man bridge. But good job saying morning and asking me how my hair is doing today ( at least that’s how I translated your honks from the back and when you were beside me) and then you were suddenly in the HOV lane and in front of me. I don’t think tailing the other car whom you forced to change lanes is making you go any faster. Did you get to your interview on time? Did you get to work before your boss? Did you get that underwhelming morning coffee from Starbucks? I think they should give it to you decaf. Hope you got to th early morning sale in Walmart. Have a better day, buddy.

Dear black BMW guy in his 50s with salt & pepper hair,

Thanks for not stopping for the red light when you were turning right onto the Granville bridge and completely not seeing my tiny, thin body and almost making me even thinner than humanly possible. I hope you got home early for dinner so that your wife didn’t yell at you again. I hope you got to your kids’ summer camp to pick them up on time. I hope you weren’t just rushing to go home and then watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix. 

Dear blue-green Old Jeep,

When you are in a merge lane, use the zipper method. I think I can help you apply to Academy of Mannerisms or you need another crash course in Young Drivers. Are you rushing to get a Botox injection?  Are you trying to rush to the McDonald’s drive through?  I hope you’re not trying to go home to finish your kids’ giant Costco birthday cake from yesterday.

Thank you for driving responsibly. Leave 15 min before your time or 30 min in rush hour please. Don’t honk- it just makes you more agitated and feeling unhappy. Spread happiness;) 


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